CapeTownMagazine.com

Bullying in Cape Town

Unwrapping Cape Town with you.
Also engage with our other channels
to find something you don't want to miss.
 
www.capetownmagazine.com/subscribe
CapeTownMag
CapeTownMagazine.com
capetownmag

Bullying in Cape Town

What’s the deal with bullying?

Last Updated: 10 February 2017

Bullying is an act of aggressive and unwanted behaviour that involves emotional and physical harm done to another individual.

Children who are victims of bullying often feel alone and powerless to change their situation. When a child is bullied they can feel cut off, and clinical depression and low self-confidence may develop.

According to a survey taken by over 2000 students in 2014, 58% of South African students have been targeted by bullies. The results are shocking considering that it is 2017 and bullying is still showing its face.It has become an internet sensation with numerous videos of high school bullying making the rounds on social media.

Can we solve the problem of bullying? Yes we can, and it will start with educating our children at home – and we will have to equip ourselves by understanding the concept of bullying and how to deal with it.

Let’s start with…

Understanding the concept of bullying
Bullying is aggressive behaviour used to intimidate and dominate others. This type of behaviour is normally repetitive and consistent, which can become a long term problem. It is common among scholars and children who are exposed to violent incidents at home.

Why do children bully others
Do you know the saying -  charity starts at home? Well, bullying can also start at home. It may not always be physical abuse, instead, it could be emotional abuse. Incidents at home could spark aggressive behaviour – which is the result of not knowing how to deal with emotions. Smaller and ‘weaker’ students may be easy targets for bullies, and it gives them a sense of dominance and power. Sometimes a child will participate in belittling others to prevent the bullies from picking on them; thus shifting the attention.

How to recognise if your child is being bullied
It is important for parents to stay connected to their children. This will help you in noticing negative behavioural changes. Take your child’s feelings seriously and make it easy for them to confide in you. Another response to being bullied is a display of unusually aggressive behaviour. A decline in academic performance, or avoiding school,  are other signs to look out for.

How can you help or be helped

Parents
As a parent it’s important to listen to your child but not to directly question them as it could cause defensiveness. Avoid rushing into problem-solving and instead allow your child to express how they feel and make them feel comfortable with sharing personal things with you. Assure your child that they can turn to you for assistance. The most effective thing you can do is focus on the issue and develop a plan. Discuss this with teachers and other parents – if there’s one child being bullied, there will be others.

Children
Depending on how bad the bullying is, you might decide to try and work it out by yourself first. Try to remember that no matter how hard you try, the bully might not be willing to change his or her behaviour. At this point talking to someone else can be useful. Surround yourself with positive people who know and like you for YOU, it can help boost your confidence.  It’s important that you connect with people who genuinely care for you and recognise all of your great qualities.

Equipping your child to cope
Laying a foundation in a child’s life is vital. Teach them at a young age that they have the right to say ‘no’, and that they do not need to endure treatment that undermines or abuses them. Here are a few things to teach your child:

  • Resolve conflict.
  • Be assertive.
  • Know when to get grown-ups involved.
  • Develop a wide social circle so they are not too reliant on any one group for their social stimulation.
  • Understand the signs and symptoms of anxiety and depression not only for themselves but for friends too.

Stamp out bullying
Change starts with ourselves, and we will benefit from being calm and having a positive approach to situations. This will in turn impact the children and help them to be calmer and not aggressive. Parents and teachers should work together to eliminate bullying from schools. Firstly, there should be a clear indication as to what constitutes bullying. Schools should also have anti-bullying policies that are implemented with serious consequences for those who contravene. Anti-bullying should be part of every school’s code of conduct, however, schools can only do so much; the main lessons are learnt at home, where violence and intimidation are too often observed by children.

Types of bullying

Physical
Apart from hitting and shoving, children can intimidate each other with mere physical presence.

Emotional
The difficulty with nasty words, criticism and insults is that these are more difficult to spot – and children will often not admit to being bullied in this way. The consequences of this is more serious and far-reaching than physical abuse. Constant emotional abuse can lead to the development of a dysfunctional self-image, low self-confidence, anxiety and depression.

Social
Bullying by ostracising and singling out can be the most painful, which is where permeating social networking sites and mobile apps are used to disastrous effect.

Children need to be taught about compassion and love towards others; and more importantly shown these affections. If they have been victimised by bullies, they should be helped as soon as possible.

These hotlines and websites are available for children and parents who are seeking help in situations where a child is victimised.

Childline : +27 (0)800 055 555 or visit childlinesa.org.za

SADAG :  +27 (0)800 567 567 or visit sadag.co.za

---

By Garth Prins

---

Use our events section for an up-to-date overview of happenings in Cape Town. Also, don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter and if you have a smart phone, add m.capetownmagazine.com to your home screen for quick access on the go!

Follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, join our Google+ circle, connect with us on LinkedIn, check out our photos on Instagram and follow our Pinterest boards for updates on what’s happening in and around the Mother City!

Cape Town Events Calendar
September 2019
SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30

a4_arts_foundationZanele Muholi Wants You To See The ...

And it’s free at the A4 Arts Foundation

Land_RewovenSee This Fascinating Interpretation of ...

Artist MJ Lourens pairs his modern landscapes with Pierneef’s, plus there’s cheese ...

Sure_Thing_2Don’t Miss This Young Artist’s ...

Mitchell Gilbert Messina's mock-ups and sketches in Woodstock are all about aspiration

sotano_lambTwo Lamb Burgers For the Price Of One

R110 gets you two fully stacked meals at both Sotanos

rodan_kane_hartRodan Kane Hart: Making the Most of ...

An expansive gallery and pristine outdoor landscape showcase a free exhibition by a young ...

William_Kentridge_2A Monumental Exhibition To Open At The ...

The iconic South African artist’s largest exhibition in Africa in over a decade

blowfish_new_4Half-Price Sushi Every Wednesday and ...

And drink in the sunset and view (and a cocktail)

Kinky BootsSmash-Hit Kinky Boots Extended To 2020 ...

With music by Cyndi Lauper, several Tonys and a Laurence Olivier Award

chicha4Get To Know Your Wine: Wednesdays are ...

Sample some fine wines and meet the makers behind your favourite tipple

Cherry_Glamping3Team Building is For Bonding, So Ditch ...

Hiking, biking, canopy tours and luxury glamping just 50 minutes outside of Cape Town

zingara_bombay5 Happy Hours, Every Day of The Week

And Cafe Paradiso has a weekend seafood platter special for two

Nom Nom_New1Something New: Invent Your Own Gin at ...

All-new DIY gin bar, double your wine every Wednesday, PLUS: an all-new menu to share

vredenheim_2019_9Picnic Among The Golden Wildebeest on ...

A family game drive with a difference at Vredenheim

kaskaziBoost Your Week With A Hump Day Kayak ...

The chance to see ocean and bird life at sunrise and get to work on time

cocosafar_steak1From Rib Eye To Vegetarian – Here Are ...

Gourmet burgers and steak, as well as cocktails, are now on the menu at this all-day cafe ...

La Paris_Deli2Wednesday Delights at La Paris Deli in ...

A bakery and bistro experience at one of the most beautiful winelands wedding venues, now ...

cartelcafe6Lunch Sorted: A Midweek Buffet At The ...

Fill up your plate and tuck into a tasty lunch spread every Wednesday and Thursday: From ...

two_oceans_aquariumMake Memorable Moments at Cape Town’s ...

Throw a party unlike any other at the Mother City’s underwater wonderland

Comedyclub_new11End Hump Day With a Laugh At The ...

Share the experience at Cape Town Comedy Club in the Waterfront’s Pumphouse every ...

Om Revolution vinyasa poseHave an Outdoor Yoga Experience with ...

Embrace your inner yogi outdoors

asamisOverload On Asami’s Sushi And Noodles

Get sushi and noodle specials three days a week

HaskellVineyards 6Save On A Meal and Wine For Two At This ...

Haskell Vineyards offers patrons a delicious meal and glass of wine at a discounted price

glam_barBeauty Special: Gelish or Shellac Nails ...

Book via Whatsapp: Workday-perfect nail treatments with free rinse and discounts on all ...

OX boat rides 110% Off: See The Marine Big 5 on an ...

Whales, dolphins, penguins, cape fur seals and mola mola (sunfish), an awesome boat trip ...

theatre and film costume hire25% Off Hollywood-Calibre Costume ...

Wednesdays only: Gorgeous vintage cocktail dresses to realistic historical costumes for ...

Strolla ChickenHalf-Price Rotisserie Chicken (& sides) ...

Warm at the fireplace inside or sip Corona on the Sunset Deck in shorts and slops (while ...

house of hLook Who's Serving a R50 Lunch Special ...

Loved by locals, House of H now does delicious new lunch specials – from boerie rolls ...

Park Inn_RGB_ItalianDinnerSpecial5All-You-Can-Eat Italian Dinner Special ...

Made fresh right in front of you, with your choice of sauces and toppings – this is one ...

beluga_whisylounge2-for-1 Whisky Wednesdays at Beluga

Your midweek escape just got a whole lot better with the 2-for-1 Wednesday whisky special ...

grub&vine_wineFree Wine Tasting Every Wednesday at ...

Grub & Vine’s #VineNight hosts a different wine farm

Vergenoegd_duckrun1Cheer On The Ducks At Vergenoegd Löw

Bring the kids along to experience the Duck Parade

WeatherGiveawaysTravel Tips