What would you do if you'd been given two hours and 15 fun things to do?
10 Questions For: Rob van Vuuren
Established as one of the most creative players in the South African entertainment industry, this multi-award winning stand-up comedian – he is also a theatre director, producer, actor, playwright and MC – certainly knows how to captivate audiences far and wide.
1. How would you describe what you do for a living?
I talk kak [crap] for a living.
2. What is your most vivid childhood memory?
That one time when I thought it would be a good idea to pee on my brother’s head. He started crying and ran away to tell my dad. The realisation and fear hit me in a heady cocktail of clarity as my survival instincts kicked in. I hid in the bushes until the sun set and the rage had subsided.
3. If you could invite any three people, dead or alive, for dinner, who would they be and why?
I’d probably invite three living people as they are better conversationalists. Also, the exhumation and transport of cadavers seems like a bit of a hassle for a dinner party. The smell would probably put me off my meal as well.
4. If you ever found yourself auditioning for a music reality TV show, what song would you sing and why?
I’d sing ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by Queen because if you are going to go down you might as well go down in a glorious howling mad frenzy of flames.
5. How would you complete this sentence? The South African cabinet should include a Minister of _________Gupta Affairs, Insincere Apologies and Shamefaced Lies.
6. What would you say is the biggest misconception about you?
That I talk kak for a living but it sounds good. Sometimes it helps to have people underestimate your true genius.
7. What is your (honest) opinion of Cape Town?
It’s the most beautiful city on earth occupied by the most pretentious hipsters in the solar system, with the worst parking in the universe.
8. What's the greatest fear you've had to overcome to get where you are today?
The fear of my father after I peed on my brother’s head. But look at me now! Alive, kicking and talking kak for a living.
9. What's the one thing you'd like to achieve before you die?
Finish this interview without talking kak, or talking about talking kak. Clearly you can’t win ‘em all.
10. Which well- known South African personality would you , without a doubt, be able to beat in a street fight and why?
I’d beat Hendrik Verwoerd because he’s already dead. Incidentally, he’d also be a terrible guest at a dinner party.
CapeTownMagazine.com’s 10 Questions project gets to know some of the Mother City’s most creative and inspiring people. From television personalities and musicians to politicians and entrepreneurs, we find out more about well-know and up-and-coming Capetonians. You can follow #CapeTownMag10Q on Twitter and Facebook to track recent interviews or read more here about our other awesome 10 Questions candidates.
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Here's your weekend special: A Night of Headliners at Cape Town Comedy Club.
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